Jaye's Journal of the Dead [read me|adorable demon scum|predictions] Jaye Eldritch [ userinfo | deadjournal userinfo ] [ calendar | deadjournal calendar ]

[18 Aug 2004|01:45pm] [ mood | stupid ] Man, I'm bored. And I haven't updated for about a century. You know why? Because I switched over to livejournal. You get 3 chances to guess my name over there, and the first two don't count. pull me!

[24 Jul 2003|03:53pm] [ mood | guilty ] I feel horrible for the guy I'm going to kill. The cool one. The wonderful one. The one I love. His best friend--sort-of love interest--has just met up with his sister, and there are already signs that his best friend will chose his sister over him. Not like love-wise, just loyalty and such. I'm a monster. It's tearing me apart. pull me!

[22 Jul 2003|01:49pm] You read about all these authors who get published. You know you do. All these authors were published when they were adults. Most of them got noticed by someone early on and helped from there. Maybe he met a publisher at a convention and became friends, and only later told the published he was writing a book and was the publisher interested? Or maybe an already established writer made friends with an aspiring writer through something totally unrelated to writing. Sometimes the adult writer was published because she actually submitted a book and an editor was so blown away that he took the writer under his wing and helped her with her writing until it was publishable. Adults. The world of writing, so many people think, is an adult's world. Sure, kids write stories, maybe even novels--but they don't really take their writing seriously. They don't submit their stories to paying magazines or paying e-zines, or even non-paying magazines and e-zines. And even if they do, they certainly don't get them published, and until they're published, they're not writers. At least, that's what you, being an ignorant young writer, think, and you're wrong. I wish I could come out and say, hey, I've been published! But I can't, because I haven't been published. My stories have been taken seriously, and I've been lucky enough to get some good rejection letters, but I haven't been published. And despite that, I still consider myself a writer. I've written one book, and I'm halfway through my second. I have plans to submit these books one day. I like the plot, the story, the dialogue, I love my characters, and I see no reason why others can't like it too. I already called you an ignorant young writer, and maybe I'm right, and maybe I'm wrong, and maybe you're mad because I'm wrong, but if you are, then you've misinterpreted my remark. See, I think it's good to be ignorant about some things. That's how I wrote my first book--by being ignorant. I didn't know how hard it was going to be. I didn't have an outline, I had all of one character, and the only plot I had was a paragraph summarizing what I wanted to happen in the first few pages. And from that, I got the first 40 pages of my novel. Ignorance in writing can be good, like when you don't know the risks, but it can also be bad, like when you don't know the risks. Writing will devour your life. Writing is hard. It will make you depressed. You might lose your friends--certainly you won't be able to spend half the day at your best friend's house like you used to. But writing is also fun and worthwhile and certainly a better way to spend your day than watching TV. What I'm saying is this--it doesn't matter what you know or what you don't. It doesn't matter how old you are or how young you are or whether you've been published. Write, and you will be a writer. Write alot, daily, and you will be a good writer. Continue writing, do it for years, and you will be a successful writer. That is all you need to know. Isn't it good to be ignorant? pull me!

Dreams and messages [17 Jul 2003|11:14pm] [ mood | satisfied ] I've had more writing-related dreams over the past few days than I've had since I started writing. One was where I was posting a topic at the NaNoWriYe forums or maybe the Holly Lisle forums and it was about something really annoying, but I KNOW it was writing-related somehow. I just don't know how. Another was one where my mom found this awesome map I made of the continent my countries are on and she was talking to me about this cool, professional-looking map she'd found and she asked if I knew where it came from. I blushed and said that I had absolutely no idea. I really, really did not want to tell her I'd drawn it. And the last was a dream where I had my book published by DAW, the publishers I really want to be published by. I was paid 412 dollars for it, and I remember holding it in my hands and being really excited. I didn't care that I was only paid 412 dollars--I was excited that I was published and that people would read MY stuff and know that I had written it! Dreams reveal a lot about a person. They can tell you important things about yourself, or they can tell you important things about others. Take the first dream. Well, no, that one isn't really a good example; I think it just says I've been spending too much time on the Internet. But on the second and third dreams, they tell me that I am really, really self-conscious about my stuff, and most importantly, that I really DON'T care about the money--I just want to get published and know that I did it. On a totally unrelated note, I only have 900 words to go till I'm done for the day!! pull me!

[17 Jul 2003|07:51pm] My mom printed off a list of our social security numbers--mine, my oldest brother's, my older brother, and my younger brother. In the space beside the number, it says, SON SON DAUGHTER SON That kind of stopped me in my tracks. Being set apart from all of them like that...is weird. That's all I can say. pull me!

[17 Jul 2003|05:02pm] Was about a page in two hours ago, and I'm not much further now. Ah well. I found out that I'll be able to cut out roughly thirty pages in the beginning because everything is SO USELESS. But that's a-OK. pull me!

[16 Jul 2003|12:35pm] [ mood | curious ] Computers that can think? That is interesting, and amazing, to some degree. We're finally seeing a future in which computers really can think of things on their own--they could design a table, create a life form, whatever. And that bit about walking...the computer didn't have information to draw from about humans. It didn't look at humans and say "This is how you move, so that is how I will make these simulations move." It looked at the simulations it was given and came up with ways for them to move, and some of them were not walking. I think, had the command been something along the lines of, Make this figure move in the most efficient way possible to get from point A to point B, then the results might have been different--and they could even have been different from walking. I don't know how, but they could have been. But the fact that the computer eventually, using the parameters Reil set for it, made the figures walk, speaks volumes for human evolution: That this is the way figures with two legs and two arms and a head here and such were supposed to move. Which means, in writing, if you have aliens with two arms and two legs and a head here and such, that they should walk, not float or something. That might not seem like much, but just think: You could find out loads about human evolution, or about aliens, or just do something interesting experiments. Tell the computer to make the most efficient species from scratch, giving them brains and all the right organs to work with, and see what it comes up with. I'm not saying you could do this right now. I don't think the program is quite up to those standards yet. But I think it could be eventually, and that's what gets me excited. pull me!

[15 Jul 2003|12:36pm] [ mood | satisfied ] Whee. Dunno why I'm so happy, but I got my words last night, and it was a lot easier--and better--than I thought it would be. My characters dived into someone else's being, which, in my world, is a certain part of everyone's mind that contains just who the person is. Hard to explain. Anyway, the person was under a binding from the gods, and I found my theme, too. Something about challenging Fate. It was fun. Made me happy. Wheeeeeee. pull me!

[13 Jul 2003|04:51pm] [ mood | bouncy ] So the grandparents came. It was annoying from the beginning; I was showering, and had this huge Louisiana Tech basketball shirt on, with no underwear and no bra, and my grandma opens the door and stares. It took me a minute to figure out who it was, so I was all like "Hey!" Then she said something about checking to make sure it was me and left. That was highly disturbing, so for a while, I just stared at the mirror, then continued dressing, this time putting ALL my clothes on, and went to my room and read for about half an hour. After that, I went downstairs and made small talk, said hi and everything, and I got on the computer--and then my grandpa looks in and I shut all my windows (my briefcase, my book, and the nanowrimo forums) and stand up, and he gives me two fifty-dollar bills. For good grades. Yeah, I was happy. VERY happy. Because before that, I was broke, and we're going shopping on the 21st, so now I'll have money to spend at the bookstore...oh, joyjoyjoy! They haven't left yet, though. I give them a half an hour. Not too worried, because I know what I'll be doing for the next, oh, 10000 words. I just had a rough spot in there where they were planning and I had to rewrite it. I DID get 2900 words last night, even though I erased the 1700 I'd gotten the day before. Still, can't have everything, eh? pull me!

[12 Jul 2003|08:49pm] [ mood | optimistic ] Have 1000 words right now. Which doesn't sound like much, but for the past three days, I've had trouble getting that much by two. In the morning. Still, whatever. It's all good. Yeah. Off to write now. Right now. pull me!

[09 Jul 2003|10:43pm] Right. So my mom called, and my eldest brother answered. Apparently they're having a debate and my mom wanted to know how old Ringo Starr is--63 two days ago, I believe. Something said he was born on July 7, 1940, so I know I subtracted correctly. Only thing is, she turned her cell phone off, and even if she didn't call from her cell, the number was unavailable and I can't redial it. Argh. pull me!

[09 Jul 2003|05:08pm] [ mood | hot ] According the thespark.com's sex test, I will have sex with 7 people, I am 20% sexy, and I'll first have sex in the backseat of a car at age 16. Only three years away! Also, five of those people will be female, two male, and I'll looooove two of them. And I have a hard time deciding between love and lust. Yeah. pull me!

[06 Jul 2003|09:46pm] [ mood | annoyed ] Wow. Can we say Bad Omen, class? Bald eagle killed on Independence Day, by what was most likely a bobcat (implying this was accidental), on the same day they launched an exhibit for injured bald eagles. Holy crap. Speaking of crap, my novel is crap. Or at least the first five chapters are. I'm considering erasing the first five chapters and starting at the scene where things start getting exciting. Very seriously considering that. Very bad crap. pull me!

[06 Jul 2003|02:26pm] [ mood | relieved ] I started with the editing at noon, but it's taken me a good two hours to prepare to edit. I've been writing down changes I want to make in my writing notebook, where I record such things. It's taken me two hours to transfer those changes to a few more sheets of notebook paper, then took me a while to go through those and decide which changes I would have to make on the computer and which I could make on the paper. Then I had to come downstairs, wait for my mother to finish up on the computer that's hooked up to the printer, and then I had to retype all those changes AGAIN, then I had to go through and make some bold and some italics, THEN I had to go through and separate the bold, italics, and normal font. Then I put them all in order, and finally, I printed them off. Now they're divided into multiple changes to make while reading, single changes to make while reading, and changes to make after I'm done reading, probably on the computer. Multiple changes are things like changing names and checking eye color and hair color, and single things are things like changing one specific aspect of a scene. Whew. Finally I can actually start reading. pull me!

[06 Jul 2003|01:16am] [ mood | lazy ] Nigeria to offer asylum to Liberian president. Well, the headline sounds funny right now. At 1:15 in the morning, after writing for a longlong time. Yeah, it's a safe thing, but think 'insane asylum' and you get what I mean. Sometimes I wonder why I stay up this late writing. Nothing makes sense now. On the bright side, however, I did get my words and the scene. The scene lasted way longer than I predicted - about 1600 words longer. Doesn't feel like I wrote four pages, though. Ah well, I'll check back next time I open it and see what the word count actually was. Anyway, I'm feeling sick; time for bed. pull me!

[05 Jul 2003|10:33pm] [ mood | ready ] I've just reread the scene, and I don't think it's very good. I mean, it's okay, but it just seems so...mediocre. I don't know. Whatever. So tonight, I'm going to forget about getting the other thousand words, and work on finishing my villain scene. Don't ask what I plan to do with it--it was a very sudden thing that came to me in the wee hours of this morning/last night before I went to bed. So I'm going to do a scene with my villain, tentatively named Tenith. She'll be on her bed, thinking, trying to get a few minutes of thought without that evil side of her butting in, and she'll seem, for a bit, like just a normal person. Until someone bursts into the room and interrupts her thinking and battling and her DARK SIDE takes over. So then we'll have a bit of superior/inferior stuff with them all talking about plans. Yeah. And eventually, the person will leave, and Tenith will lay back down on the bed and despair, and then the evil side will take over again and she'll get to work. But anyway, tomorrow I'll be taking a day off to read through my first novel and decide how horrible it is, and then I'll do...something...I can't remember what, though. Undoubtedly something important and related to editing. Wait, no, I still have that YW contest short story thing to get done. Crap. Okay, tomorrow: Read through entire first novel. After that, do a bit of work on the editing of it, and after that, start and finish contest entry. Okay. pull me!

[05 Jul 2003|09:38pm] [ mood | jubilant ] Those last two pages FLEW. Seriously. I am so charged with emotion that I swear the air around me is crackling. Holy crap, that was awesome. The words poured like water, like molten metal, like mercury, and it was all raw emotion. I swear, those are the best two thousand words I have ever written in my LIFE. Or at least it feels like it. I wonder if it has anything to do with the two cans of pop and two cups of iced tea I've consumed today. And I'm DONE with my words for today! I still have a thousand more to make up from yesterday, but that's okay, because that's only two and a half pages. YEAH!!! I finished that scene, and I thought it was going to be hard, and it was EASY PEAS!!!!! YEAH! pull me!

[05 Jul 2003|08:41pm] [ mood | pissed off ] Pulled about 1200 words out of my butt in the last hour and a half because I was freaking furious. And I made myself that way. I was literally shaking with rage at one of the characters I've just created, who did some bad things that irked me. Weird. I wish I could get myself that way about everything concerning my novel. Not mad, but clicking deeply with it. Now, off to more, angrier things. pull me!

[05 Jul 2003|12:57am] Very bad day, writing-wise. First I'm distracted FOREVER by EVERYTHING (including the M*A*S*H series finale, which I've never seen before) and then I sit down to write and I have a huge headache, then my characters go all doing things that would screw up the WHOLE PLOT. Then I start to feel downright sick. So I stopped writing at 1300 words, though I know that tomorrow, only about 600 of those words will be left once I'm finished with them. Urgh. pull me!

Tarot [04 Jul 2003|09:28pm] [ mood | curious ] So I did an online tarot reading. I got the High Priestess for my 'self', the three of coins (?) for my situation, and the ace of cups for my challenges. Of course, I was really doing it for my main character. Ace of Cups Water. Represents the emotions. Best known for representing the Querent's love life, but it also stands for emotional extremes, such as depression, elation, or bliss, and the negatives that come with such emotions, like over-indulgence in food, drink, drugs, or the positives like poetry or music. Also, psychic powers, visions, illusions. Different site: Talks about river. "Imagine floating down a river: you enter a smooth passageway where you can relax and trust the river's flow. This is one of those times. Don't relax totally, however." High Priestess High Priestess. Basically says she "can stand for the Querent, who might be discovering (or about to discover) psychic powers or a deep, dark secret or who might be studying spiritual texts. ...she might well be a spiritual woman, a nun or astrologer, a teacher of archaic knowledge, or just a reclusive relative who knows a lot of family secrets. In the negative, she can be a woman prone to passive aggressive acts, or one with a cold, unpredictable, moody, even scary personality. ...What I think is most important to remember about the High Priestess is that she is the one who can lead you through the darkest part of yourself or life to the other side. She sits between the pillars of dark and light, existance and negation, wax and wane, because she, alone, knows the way. She has visited the land of the dead and returned; all secret knowledge is hers." Three of Coins I only had the actual reading site thingy to go off of here. "As you lead a cooperative effort, share your vision with creativity. ...This auspicious card in the initial position sets a very positive tone for the rest of the reading. You have the skill and mastery to achieve great things." pull me!

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